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Anonymous Employee User Forum
Can you help this person? They have a problem with
Sexual Harassment and need some advice. |
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| This is the original problem from an employee... |
My girlfriend works, and a new manager was just transferred there a few weeks ago. One day, my girlfriend told me about how he usually jokes around about going out to dinner with her sometimes.. but then, he started to become serious and actually asked her out, saying that he'll take her wherever she wants to go for dinner. He also asked for her phone number..
Is this sexual harassment? The manager is in his mid-30s and my girlfriend is 19.. so if it isn't, could he still get in trouble for this? I would imagine the age difference would be somewhat of a factor, even though she isn't a minor..
You don't understand how mad and stressed out about this I am.. someone please help me out.. |
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| Employee: anonymous |
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A visitor of this site offers this as a possible solution...
| Him joking about wanting to take out on a date was a sign of what he wanted to do all along. Since he has asked her out it is not harassment unless he states she could love her job for not going. She just needs to say she is not interested and from there if he continues it will become harassment. Since she is 19 age doesn't matter. She is adult just as he is.
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A visitor of this site offers this as a possible solution...
| From what I see here it just looks simply like a case of another guy trying to steal you girlfriend. This may sound like I am prying, but how is your relationship with your girlfriend? I mean, with my marriage, I actually wouldn't be surprised if my wife was trying to see somebody else. So are you guys okay? Second, is your girlfriend cooperative with you, i.e. does she tell you exactly what happened? I mean freely, spontaneously. If she is not and she "doesn't want to talk about it", then I suspect she might actually be interested in him, or, at least, intrigued. However, if she freely shares all the details WITHOUT PROMPTING then she is not interested and you guys need to take it to another level. Looks to me like the guy has no idea she is taken. Although, I am also a little troubled by how he joked around and she didn't appear to reject him THEN. If worst comes to worst, you just have to ask yourself if she's worth the fight. If she is, and it sounds like she is, you need to fight. I can tell you how, but I need to know what I asked you so far. In any case, it doesn't seem like any laws were broken here, yet. Whatever you do, and I just remembered the movie The Fisherking, don't get violent. It will only make her resent you. There's a way and I will freely share but first I need to know more specifics.
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A visitor of this site offers this as a possible solution...
| I was sexually harassed on my job. I was depressed and ended up on anti-depressants. This is a great way to deal with your emotions. (1) Make a video, tell your story of the harassment (2) Expose the perpetrator in detail (3) Express anger on the video, (4) Post video and invite people to share in your victory. Fighting back is victory! Go to my video if you like, type in Clayton County Sexual Harassment-Donald Shockley. Enjoy! This video saved my life.
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A visitor of this site offers this as a possible solution...
| Any unwanted attention or advance that makes an employee feel uncomfortable can be considered sexual harassment. Your girlfriend should start by explaining to him that she is not interested and would like to keep their relationship strictly professional. If the behavior continues afterward, she should report it through the appropriate channel in her workplace.
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A visitor of this site offers this as a possible solution...
| yes age matters because your GF is young and naive. what she thought was joking really was not. Now that he asked it's not harassment as long as he inderstands "No", If there appears to be retaliation she can report it. Also each state has different laws, in NJ a parent can intervene on a child's behalf up to the age of 25 about unwanted relationship and inappropriate influence, Law enacted in 1957. He is too old to be asking her out simply, more worldly, and seeking some advantage.
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A visitor of this site offers this as a possible solution...
| Age does matter because your girlfriend is just of age and naive thinking he was joking when he was not. He is her superior at work and wordly in comparision and is out of line probably trying to take advantage of her naiviety in some regard down the line. There is no legal harm in asking as long as he understands "no". Should she suspect retailiation she can consult with an attorney for free. Every state has different laws such as in NJ the parents can intervene in unwanted relationships or inappropriate influences on a child up to the age of 25, even if the child were to want the relationship.
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Disclaimer: The advice displayed within this site is not legal advice and is not to be taken as legal or professional advice in any way. Any communication within this forum is intended only to discuss a number of possible options. All ratings have come from site visitors and reflect a peer review only. |
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